The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
