it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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