Ambien. No doubt about it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
