my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
