dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
