for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize