Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
A+ Viking dick
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize