I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Come on in and take your pants off
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