I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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