shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
