just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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