New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
