So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
