why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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