He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You're a waste of cheezeits
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
