just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
