Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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