C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
