hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
