I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
