there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
