Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
