Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
