kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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