Someone shit on the floor
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
