Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
