We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize