these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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