whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize