i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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