I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My bed smells like the plague
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
