what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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