You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
