You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
