I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
