I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize