Cold hands, warm shart.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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