I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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