So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
