i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
