y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
