butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
