He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize