I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
