69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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