Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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