Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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