is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All I want is dick and wine.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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