omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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