Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
