oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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