What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
