Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
