wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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