she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
