honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
